NY Report 04
How American Women View Their Bodies
Case 3: Sarah (40s)
I'm Tomo, a freelance writer based in NY for 23 years. This time, I'll share candid interviews with American women about how they view their bodies. Following Deborah in her 60s and Dolly in her 80s, today I spoke with Sarah (pseudonym), who just turned 40.
Vagina? Or Yoni?
"Don't call female genitalia 'vagina'," she said when I started the interview. "Did you know that the etymology of 'vagina' is 'scabbard,' meaning a sheath for a sword?" she asked, frowning between her elegant eyebrows, clearly displeased. When I asked, "Then what should I call it?" she replied, "Yoni."
"Yoni is a Sanskrit word that refers to female genitalia (the uterus and vulva), but it also refers to the origin and source of the universe."
The term "vagina," meaning scabbard, implies something that receives a sword, suggesting that its existence is defined by the sword, creating a passive image. In contrast, Yoni is seen as the driving force of female sexual power, recognized as the source of the universe, a sacred place, and an object of worship.
Yoni evokes a much more positive and powerful image. It's quite different from the image associated with "vagina."
The Shadow of a Mother's Dependence on Her Children
Sarah is a white woman with a British father and an Italian-American mother. Her father passed away early, and her mother, who Sarah described as a "party animal and hypersexual," was strict, demanding Sarah and her sister be well-behaved and straight-A students.
Her mother's strategy worked: Sarah was an excellent student, volunteered in her local community, and even as a teenager, she remained a "perfect daughter," avoiding parties and boyfriends.
However, as she grew older, she realized that her mother had emotionally depended on her daughters while raising them. As Sarah put it, "It was emotional incest." Sarah, who was relied upon by her mother, became more focused on meeting her mother's needs than her own, which later led to low self-esteem and chronic anxiety.
Religion and Sex
By the way, in her twenties, Sarah, who has both beauty and a great body, participated in a famous TV show that produced top models, making it to the final selection. During the interview, I could constantly feel the intense gazes of those around us.
Naturally, when she reached a certain age, many men pursued her, but her relationship with her mother cast a shadow over her romantic relationships, and she recalled having "many crappy relationships."
After realizing she hadn't valued herself by trying to meet her mother's needs, she began to question the Christian values ingrained in her since childhood and delved into various books. It was then, while exploring Eastern philosophy, that she learned about the Hindu concept of Yoni.
"Most religions around the world typically have male deities. Male gods, based on male values, created dogmas like 'women are impure,' effectively erasing femininity. And those who didn't conform were punished."
She stated, "Today, the worship of God (male deities) has shifted, replaced by 'money is God,'" pointing out that "if you have money, you are omnipotent, you can get anything and get away with anything." She continued, "In such a money-worshipping world, everyone feels compelled to achieve the success and lifestyle depicted by the media, and I think they are always under pressure and anxiety."
"Now more than ever, society should accept that women are sacred beings. It's about recognizing and cherishing your true self, and realizing your own true power. That perspective of the goddess is what's important."
Sarah spoke with a radiant smile, truly like a goddess.
Writer’s Profile
Tomo Matsumoto
Freelance writer. Moved to the U.S. in 1999 to study abroad, focusing on communication theory. Has lived in New York since 2001. Author of "Beyond: A Japanese Woman's Perspective of Japan-U.S. Cross-Cultural Love" (Kindle e-book).
